girl who always did what she was told...
It's my last semester of law school which means that I will have very little to bitch up pretty soon....just kidding.
Of course it wouldn't be a semester without not knowing where my next meal is going to come from. It's like this last semester is ending the way it started, and that truly sucks. Those first couple of semesters were absolutely nightmarish for various reasons, mostly because I was broke as fuck, and now with my education coming to a close, it's like I'm backtracking. Well not me per se, the situation I suppose. I guess history was doomed to repeat itself sooner rather than later, but I didn't think it would be this soon. It's another 8 months or so of figuring out rent, living expenses, tuition, etc. without a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.
Unfortunately, there is not a lot of time to wallow in self-pity. Don't get me wrong, I would love to, but classes started January 4th so the time normally allotted for wallowing is going towards studying in the library or watching SVU marathons. It is also hard for me to ask for help (yes I admit it). I think there is a certain level of pride attached to asking for help especially when it has to do with money. I'll ask my mom for help sure but she's only one person. The other contributor to half my chromosomes is unavailable for support. It is also kind of ironic, I should be excited about graduation but I can't because I just might not graduate this semester.
I am happy for all my fellow graduates from my previous institution because boy that was a bitch. But like the old adage, misery loves company so I can't handle happy people right now. Or people that complain that they don't know what to wear to happy hour....although those were things I was never good at coping with. It just makes me wanna scream "I got real problems n*gga shut the fuck up." But believe it or not I am holding my tongue. Instead I usually just tune out so I don't hear the offensive language and that way I don't get mad. Depression is exhausting enough, adding rage to that equation doesn't help matters. I don't even have enough money to drown my sorrows in a bottle, which in turn makes me more depressed o the humanity. Alas, I press on because I don't have a choice.
I've been wearing my cross necklace I got for Christmas. Hopefully positive spiritual energy will emanate from it. I really should be getting back to this paper due Thursday that I just started a couple hours ago, so pray for my immortal soul (and yours) and I'll catch yall on the flip.
Of course it wouldn't be a semester without not knowing where my next meal is going to come from. It's like this last semester is ending the way it started, and that truly sucks. Those first couple of semesters were absolutely nightmarish for various reasons, mostly because I was broke as fuck, and now with my education coming to a close, it's like I'm backtracking. Well not me per se, the situation I suppose. I guess history was doomed to repeat itself sooner rather than later, but I didn't think it would be this soon. It's another 8 months or so of figuring out rent, living expenses, tuition, etc. without a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.
Unfortunately, there is not a lot of time to wallow in self-pity. Don't get me wrong, I would love to, but classes started January 4th so the time normally allotted for wallowing is going towards studying in the library or watching SVU marathons. It is also hard for me to ask for help (yes I admit it). I think there is a certain level of pride attached to asking for help especially when it has to do with money. I'll ask my mom for help sure but she's only one person. The other contributor to half my chromosomes is unavailable for support. It is also kind of ironic, I should be excited about graduation but I can't because I just might not graduate this semester.
I am happy for all my fellow graduates from my previous institution because boy that was a bitch. But like the old adage, misery loves company so I can't handle happy people right now. Or people that complain that they don't know what to wear to happy hour....although those were things I was never good at coping with. It just makes me wanna scream "I got real problems n*gga shut the fuck up." But believe it or not I am holding my tongue. Instead I usually just tune out so I don't hear the offensive language and that way I don't get mad. Depression is exhausting enough, adding rage to that equation doesn't help matters. I don't even have enough money to drown my sorrows in a bottle, which in turn makes me more depressed o the humanity. Alas, I press on because I don't have a choice.
I've been wearing my cross necklace I got for Christmas. Hopefully positive spiritual energy will emanate from it. I really should be getting back to this paper due Thursday that I just started a couple hours ago, so pray for my immortal soul (and yours) and I'll catch yall on the flip.
Comments
Post a Comment